The Electric Football League, headquartered in Highland Park, Illinois, held its 17th annual Official Electric Football Super Bowl & Convention in January 2011, in Columbus, Ohio. Jamel Goodloe (Auburn Tigers) was crowned national champion, as he beat Ken Allen in the championship game. Both players hail from the Michigan-based Great Lakes Electric Football League (GLEFL).
8:18 PM
sorry for that wall of text but that's like nirvana-level dork shit right there
8:19 PM Nicholas: ha
8:20 PM i imagine some 8 nerds standing around this championship game saying things like "this guy's unstoppable!"
8:24 PM me: hahaha yeah
8:25 PM "Great Lakes Electric Football League"
midwest electric football dorks. i picture them as the sort who eats meat for like 90% of their diet and gets bombed on schlitz
8:26 PM Nicholas: i like schlitz!
me: oh i'm fine with schlitz
just a very "40-year-old dude in joliet, illinois" beer
8:27 PM Nicholas: hahaha yeah that is true
8:28 PM i kinda want to join that league, win, and ruin it for everyone
like the whole shebang
find a job out there, do the entire season
act like a complete dick within the rules
just ruin it
me: you completely school them
"well, see you dorks later, gotta get back to my place in santa monica"
8:29 PM Nicholas: hahaha
me: (taps on ipad a few times)
"actually, maybe portland. who knows"
Nicholas: hahahaha
that would be so much fun
8:30 PM because then you've got this dynasty
me: just leave their egos reduced to nothing
Nicholas: like 4 seasons strong, 3 losses
yeah
and at the end of it all you completely denounce the entire thing
"this was literally a waste of 5 years of my life and i knew that going in"
8:31 PM me: "i mean, as long as you guys were committed to doing dork shit... you know you could have been at least studying chess, right? learning a foreign language maybe? something?"
"christ you guys are depressing"
8:32 PM Nicholas: or just tell them you cheated the whole time
me: accept the trophy at the presentation ceremony, look over it and see that it has various re-engravings on it, indicating that it's been passed on through 30+ years
"eh, you guys can have it, i'd probably just goodwill it"
8:33 PM Nicholas: hahaha "goodwill it"
8:34 PM me: you rudely blow off all the chapter meetings and "strat sessions" you're invited to, but they still keep inviting you back because they respect how good you are
Nicholas: respond to any courtesies or compliments with "WHAAAATTTT UPPPPPPPPPP"
8:35 PM hands out, head tilted
you could even adopt one of them as "cool"
convince him to hang out with you for a season or two
8:36 PM completely alienate him from the group
then just leave
8:37 PM me: hahahahaha
8:39 PM eventually he resigns to rejoining the stamp collecting scene he abandoned years ago because "it wasn't good for me"
8:40 PM they find him unconscious in a 7-11 parking lot two years later, clutching a stamp album
lay him up in the hospital, do toxicology tests, found he had four schlitzes in his system
"maybe he was just... really sad or something?"
8:45 PM Nicholas: hahaha 4 schlitzes
8:46 PM also that stamp collecting has a "scene" is depressing and revelling at the same time
8:53 PM me: got three pages filled with the same identical Frida Kahlo stamp
8:54 PM also got a bunch of edgar allan poe stamps
the EMT guy who flips through the pages isn't sure, but he gets the impression that he thought that the word "poem" was named after Poe
8:55 PM Nicholas: hahahaha
me: a page of "young elvis/ old elvis" stamps at the beginning of the book is crudely X'd out, a message scrawled over them
"I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE WORTH MONEY"
8:59 PM Nicholas: cop eyeballs the page, eyes float to the back of his head as he touches his thumb to each digit of his right hand
"forty-seven times 8... that's like 4 bucks who cares"
me: ahahah
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