When I was little -- guess I must have been in second or third grade -- I was sitting in class when the principal walked in the room and asked me to come with him to his office. So I did, and I found that my mom and pop were already there. I remember thinking it was kind of funny, because the principal had a chair, but instead he sort of half-sat, half-leaned on the front of his desk as he spoke to me.
"Harry, we've got terrific news for you. You're going to be a person in a television commercial!"
I looked at my mom and pop. They were smiling. My mom was crying a little.
I didn't really understood what they meant. "What does that mean? Like, I'm going to act in a commercial?"
The principal chuckled. "No, there's no acting about it." He finally walked to the other end of his desk, opened a cabinet, and pulled out a heavy manila envelope. That envelope had a bunch of stamps on it, like it came from somewhere real far away. "It's exactly as it sounds, Harry. When you grow up, you're going to be a person in a commercial. You will be that person."
I had so many questions, of course, but I was eight or nine years old, and when you're a kid, you go straight to the middle of the jelly doughnut. "Is that good?"
My pop put his hand on my shoulder. "It's real good. Real good, Harry. Your mom an' me, we went through a lotta crap to make a good life for us. We still live kinda hard. You know that."
He poked me in my belly, and I laughed a little. "Lookit these fancy overalls you got, with these shiny new buttons. You know why we was eatin' bread an' gravy for dinner all week last week? So we could save up an' buy you these overalls an' send ya to school lookin' sharp."
I looked down and unsnapped one of the buttons and snapped it again. I sure was proud of those overalls.
"See, you're gonna be a fella in a commercial. Think of all the folks in commercials on the TV. They're all happy! They have neat stuff, they got pretty wives and girlfriends, sometimes they got some kids, they live in a great big house and drive a shiny car. That's who you're gonna be."
"But... how?"
My mother wiped her eyes. "Let's not worry about the 'how' right now, honey. You're not going to want for anything." She hugged my pop. "You're going to have the life we've always wanted for you."
And, well, I don't know if this is what they were talking about. I work in animal control. I go to folks' houses and deal with all the critters they don't want to deal with. It doesn't pay too much. I got this little apartment.
It's kind of a little tiny apartment. It's got a radiator and an air conditioner in the window that works pretty good. Tried to liven it up a little, you know, tacked up a pennant of my favorite ball team on the wall. Got a couple of plants sitting around, too. They're fake plants, since there isn't a whole lot of light in here, but I think they kind of keep things looking fresh. I've grown kind of fond of 'em.
Tonight was Monday night, so when I came home I popped some popcorn and put it in my special football bowl, which I only let myself bring out when it's game time. It's my favorite thing to do.
I know you see me, Mom and Pop. I know you probably expected me to live in a big old house with all kinds of cool art and stuff in it, maybe with some pals, or a wife and some kids. I don't even have no pals. Don't need them, really.
Lots of folks probably see me without event a single pal around, and they think something's wrong with me, but there's not. I'm not crazy, I'm just happy. I hope you know that every time I show up on your TV, Mom and Pop. I hope it makes you smile. If it's just one fella, you call it a portrait. And this is a portrait of a happy man.
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